Types of Drunk People

One of my favourite 'hobbies' is going out and making a fool of myself with the influence of my old buddy Alcohol. I generally behave like a mad fool when alcohol is around. However not everyone acts this way. I've been thinking about the types of drunks I've either come across or been during my long term relationship with alcohol. So I've compiled a list of the most predominant ones. I have to say that I've been most of these on a night out, sometimes transitioning through more than one as the night progresses. So here goes!

1 The Wall Flower

The picture is supposed to be of a 'shy person' but the lady in question looks like she's just let one rip and is too afraid to admit it's her. The Wallflower is the quiet boy or girl who won't say boo to a goose. They tend to stick to the background and have limited input with regards to the general banter. I think we've all been there, for some it may be because they are genuinely shy but for others we may have just felt out of place on a night out or just not feeling the party mood. My suggestion? Drink more! You'll soon lose your inhibitions and dance like a fool!

2 Captain Sensible 

This person is not to be mistaken with the Wall Flower. The are more than capable of  participation in conversations. I've never been 'Captain Sensible' but I do believe they are on occasion useful on a night out. Captain Sensible may not wish to flash their arse to all their mates or get up on karaoke which can make them seem a tad boring. They are likely to scorn and disapprove of your more outrageous escapades which at times can make them a bit frustrating. Whilst the rest of us are downing shots at the bar Captain Sensible will pace themselves with their beverage. At the time this makes them somewhat boring, but when everybody else can't tell their wallet from the traffic cone on their head Captain Sensible is their to make sure you make it home safe!

3 The Fighter aka The Prick

Never ever ever have I been this person or associated myself with anyone who behaves this way. The fighter is the guy or girl who once they've had a drink (sometimes they don't even need a drink) all they wish to do is fight. We've all come across them. We all hate them. I won't waste anymore time discussing them. Just die arseholes! 

4 The Slut

Just to clarify, the pictures are Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Callum Best. Who have all at some point in their lives made headlines for to put it bluntly sleeping around. I'm sure many of us have gone on a night out and wound up making out with a random. I'm sure some of us have gone home with a random. I'm sure some have woken up the next day and thought 'who the hell are you?'. (*Note to my mum - I said some, this does not mean I've done any of these things). My philosophy for a night out is to have a good time with my mates. I like to look decent but most importantly have a laugh. If anything else happens, so be it. What I've never been a fan of is those who set out with the intention of hooking up. Their whole night revolves around this. Stupid behaviour is a no no, it's all about looking good. Both girls and guys do this. But it's not hot and in my eyes you are all as bad as....

5 The Emotional Drunk

I'm sure we've all had the night were we've gotten a bit emotional. Something crap is going on in our life and the drink just brings it all out. The best answer? Don't drink! If something is bothering you that much alcohol will only make it worse. 

6 The Lunatic

This one is my favourite. When you do silly things when you are drunk and laugh about the next day. Here's a little story that still amuses me.Three of us were on our way home after a night at our local pub. we came across some road signs so decided it would be a good idea to take them home. As we drew nearer to my house my friends utters 'Oh shit!'. At which point I notice the police car next to us and the officer replies, 'You might as well say Oh shit! And tell your friend to come back with those cones.' Our third companion had decided to make a run for it with a cone in either hand, so I shout out, 'Mum come back'. The look on the Police officers face was priceless!! 

I still recall this story to friends whenever they comment on my stupid escapades. I'm afraid it's genetic. I come from a long line of crazy people.

7 The Out of Control Drunk

The above picture is of myself dressed as a Granny. This night did not end well. I went from the lunatic drunk to the out of control drunk. I had a good time, sadly my friends who had to keep me under control and eventually take me home for my own safety did not. Know your limits!!!

8 Vom.com 

The picture says it all. This is the next step from being the out of control drunk. It's not big, it's certainly not clever and if you've done what the guy in the picture is doing then don't be surprised if you have a black eye when you wake up!


Word of the Day Oxymoron