A woman has cut off her estranged husband's doodah. By all accounts their marriage was pretty much over, but they were enjoying a nice meal together after a row over friends coming to stay. The kinky wife decided to slip some drugs into her husband's tea leading to him getting knocked out. When he awoke he was tied to the bed and she proceeded to chop his penis off!
He is currently in hospital after undergoing surgery and said yo be in a 'good condition'. Really? I seriously doubt that! He had filed for divorce in May citing irreconcilable differences. Well whatever was irreconcilable before has certainly been trumped by his loving wife's latest escapades!
Thursday 14 July 2011
Wednesday 6 July 2011
Red paper clip
Yesterday whilst making tea I heard about Red Paper Clip on radio one. Basically a guy (who just so happens to be named Kyle) started off with a red paper clip and traded it in until he eventually wound up with a house in Phoenix, rent free!
Obviously this beats the whole kidney for an i-pad concept. I haven't fully read the guys blog about his experience but it appears he didn't stop with the house. I think it was more about the actual experience than trying to gain anything. I think someone should give this a go! He had to travel around by the looks of things and I can't drive so I'd be somewhat limited if I was to try it. If I was to attempt this however, I'd start with the cat. There, I said it. The family cat is a bitch. Anyone fancy trading in their house for a cat? Did I say she was a bitch? I meant to say she is adorable.
Word of the Day: Adventure
Quote of the Day: 'Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds!' Bob Marley
Funny Story: My pregnant sister seems to be unaware of how a dressing gown works. As I made my way up the stairs I was greeted with her strolling (waddling) out of the bathroom with it wide open. Thank you for that image Jim. She'll probably make me delete this, shame I can't delete the image from my mind!!
Obviously this beats the whole kidney for an i-pad concept. I haven't fully read the guys blog about his experience but it appears he didn't stop with the house. I think it was more about the actual experience than trying to gain anything. I think someone should give this a go! He had to travel around by the looks of things and I can't drive so I'd be somewhat limited if I was to try it. If I was to attempt this however, I'd start with the cat. There, I said it. The family cat is a bitch. Anyone fancy trading in their house for a cat? Did I say she was a bitch? I meant to say she is adorable.
Word of the Day: Adventure
Quote of the Day: 'Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds!' Bob Marley
Funny Story: My pregnant sister seems to be unaware of how a dressing gown works. As I made my way up the stairs I was greeted with her strolling (waddling) out of the bathroom with it wide open. Thank you for that image Jim. She'll probably make me delete this, shame I can't delete the image from my mind!!
Tuesday 5 July 2011
Dirty Kebab
I made the biggest school boy error the other night. Chilling out having a few drinks in a garden lead to the sun going down and a few more drinks getting consumed, turning into a late trip to a pub leading to more drinks and some rather uncool dance moves being busted in a bar along with some more drinks being supped. All of this is acceptable, but this all lead to the purchasing of a greasy kebab. It was lovely at the time (I think). I ate it all. I knew I'd regret it the next day, but was not prepared for how much.
When I finally arose the morning (lies), I was intrigued to find I had 2 missed calls and a text message. The intrigue soon turned to devastation as the 2 calls were from my friend who also purchased a kebab. The text message (also off my friend) informed me that their kebab was not cooked properly so I had best check mine. Doh! I don't think I have food poisoning but I have another day before it could potentially kick in.
Why do we eat such crap when drunk? Apparently one group of scientists believe it affects the Hypothalamus (a part of the brain) and tricks you into feeling more hungry than you actually are. Whatever the reason, I'm going to avoid food as much as possible but if worse comes to the worse I'll play it safe and get a margarita pizza instead!
Word of the Day: Oblivious
Quote of the Day: 'Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.' Seneca
Random Thought of the Day: Would you rather have diarrhea or constipation?
Guilty Confession of the Day: I'd rather have diarrhea.
Career Change
A successful banking consultant has embarked on a rather unusual career change. He is now a trained witch doctor. So what thoughts has this provoked in your mind? Do you find him odd? Does this seem like a bizarre decision, to leave a comfortable life for something completely different that I assume doesn't offer grand financial rewards?
I don't. I think it's great, but I'm not normal. We have one life, grab every opportunity that comes your way. Never settle, always be ready for change. Success and achievement is what you deem it to be, whether that be a flash car, house in the suburbs and 2.4 children or moving to Cape Town and living as a witch doctor. So whilst many of you would probably ask Thomas Heathfield if he is mad, I'd congratulate him on not being another Joe Bloggs.
Although I hope his career as a witch doctor does not involve human sacrifices, such as this stomach churning case.
I don't. I think it's great, but I'm not normal. We have one life, grab every opportunity that comes your way. Never settle, always be ready for change. Success and achievement is what you deem it to be, whether that be a flash car, house in the suburbs and 2.4 children or moving to Cape Town and living as a witch doctor. So whilst many of you would probably ask Thomas Heathfield if he is mad, I'd congratulate him on not being another Joe Bloggs.
Although I hope his career as a witch doctor does not involve human sacrifices, such as this stomach churning case.
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