Meat

At various points in my life I have refrained from eating meat. When I was younger the reasoning behind this was I felt it was cruel. However I've always returned to my carnivorous ways. It's usually some shit like a big mac or bacon sandwich that draws me back.About a year ago I gave up meat for a different reason. I suddenly began getting repulsed by the thought of eating something dead. It was not because I felt it was cruel, but because I couldn't stomach the thought of eating something that had been alive. The smell of raw meat has always turned my stomach, even when I  can eat meat. Ever since I was little I've consciously held my breath if I ever walk passed a butchers. Eventually I lost the thoughts about meat being something dead and dirty. I stuck to being a vegetarian for a while longer out of pure stubbornness but eventually chowed down on a Big Mac and Double Cheese burger. 


The reason why I've written about this is because during work today the thoughts suddenly returned very strongly. It was when I handled some lamb's kidney that was fully concealed but i felt like I had 'touched' it. For the rest of the day just the sight of meat knocked me sick and I even intentionally avoided eating it for lunch. Luckily this didn't last as long as last year. The thoughts are gone! 


I've googled to find out if this happens to others but can't really find anything. It's as if I have a 'bi polar' relationship with meat. The smell certainly always knocks me for sick. But I have no qualms usually about handling it. I know many people who have issues with handling raw chicken. During a food tech lesson at school my friend made me skin the chicken we had to cook. I took this opportunity to place my hand under the chicken skin and proceeded to chase her around the classroom. I spent the rest of the lesson on the corridor. It probably doesn't come as a surprise that Food Tech was the one subject I failed at school!


I like my steak Raw and bloody when I enjoy meat. However I know this would make me feel physically sick when I can't get over the fact that it's 'dead'. So what is wrong with me? Am I alone in this? Surely there are others who have this weird problem? My attempts to be normal are really not working out! Maybe it's some subconscious psychological blah blah that's going on. The more likely explanation is that I'm just weird and being a ponce. I had fish pie for tea, I'm over it for now!!


Word of the Day: Juxtapose 


Quote of the Day: 'I ate his liver with some Fava beans and a nice Chianti'. Hannibal Lecter