Kidney for Ipad

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>WARNING<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<                                      (Contains Image that may disturb)

I just came across this beauty of an article. It is on the Daily Mirror website which isn't the best of sources to use but it has shocked, disgusted, amused and basically boggled my mind. So therefore it earns a place here! A 17 year old boy sold one of his kidneys for $3,392 so he could purchase a ipad 2 and a laptop. He has not just contemplated selling a vital organ for financial gain, he has actually gone through with it and what's more purchased something that won't last as long as his bloody kidney would have!

Obviously money has different values in different countries so I hope he sold it for the equivalent of a large amount of money in China. And what he chose to use that money for was his personal choice, for me it seems a little disrespectful to his former organ. Would anybody else sell a kidney? How much for? What would you buy?

I'd sell mine and buy an I-phone. No wait, a Blackberry Torch. Oh I can't decide! Maybe I'd earn enough to be able to afford both? But what about when they are last seasons trend? I suppose I need the other kidney so I can't really sell that. I'd probably struggle without a lung. Maybe I could sell my left testicle and buy a Mac!!!

Reminds me a bit of Bruno. He sold his adopted baby for an Ipod or something didn't he? I wouldn't contemplate selling my niece but I guess I could sell my mum for a Robin reliant? 

Word of the Day: Dispensable 


Quote of the Day: 'It seems impossible, until it's done' Nelson Mandela 

Katie Piper Foundation

Last month I posted a blog called Inside/Outside. I forgot to put a link to Katie Piper's Foundation. So here it is!

People who do stupid things...

I stumbled across this article today. 'Man who buried himself alive found dead'. I am aware that death is no laughing matter. But you have to appreciate the irony! 


How many of us have fixations with death? I'm currently reading a book called The Tibetan Book of Living & Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche. I would recommend it to everyone. Whilst the roots of it's teachings lie in Buddhism, they can easily be incorporated into other religious cultures. I think the moral behind what happened to Mr Buried Alive is we should never toy with the idea of death. We should be aware that we are all mortal and it is going to happen. We shouldn't become obsessed with it or dismiss thinking about it altogether. 


I fear my blog has gotten too preachy recently. I promise to talk more about poo in future.

Philosophical Drunks

Last month I discussed the various types of drunk people I have both come across and behaved like myself. It occurred to me last night that I missed a very important one from this list. The Philosophical Drunk! How many of us have gotten into deep conversations about different elements of life? I love the whole concept of philosophy. Questions like 'Is the colour I perceive as blue the same as your blue?' or 'Does bacon taste the same for me as it does for you?' fascinate me. 

Perhaps it is more due to my personality and the people I associate with as to why I find myself entering philosophical conversations whilst I am drunk. Last night the topic was culture and racism. Thankfully it occurred to both myself and my friend that the conversation was taking a serious turn and we abruptly ended. Perhaps this  was a wrong move on our behalf as we both proceeded to cause a surprising amount of mischief with a pork pie. I won't even begin to discuss what happened to the piece of birthday cake...

This has not always been the case. I have one friend who my friends dread me meeting up with on a night out because we can spend hours discussing random philosophical crap. I think I have righted the world more times than I can count or sadly remember whilst under the influence of alcohol. Herein lies the problem. Whilst alcohol has led to myself and probably many others having deep philosophical conversations we probably forget half of what was said the next morning! So alcohol is both facilitating and prohibiting our chances of a better life! Although I guess this is not something we didn't already know. In future I am going to record my drunken philosophical conversations because at the time I know I am convinced I have all the answers. I'll probably be in for a shock when I discover how much utter shit I chat!!


Word of the Day: Evolution


Quote of the Day: 'The purpose of life is a life of purpose' Robert Bryne


Guilty confession of the Day: A middle aged woman purchased around twenty 'romantic' novels from the supermarket I work in. I was so close to informing her that she would be better off investing in a 'toy' as this would save her both time and money. I refrained from doing so, not out of politeness but because I still need that job!

Facebookbots

Like the majority of people I associate with I have a Facebook account. I check my account regularly, using it to communicate publicly and privately with my friends. I feel there are many good things about Facebook. It allows people to keep in touch with others who they may have lost contact with if Facebook hadn't been available. I've had my account for four or five years now so have amassed a large collection of photos I have been 'tagged' in. It therefore allows me to look back on moments in my life I may otherwise have forgotten.(I have to admit sometimes I wish I could forget them. I went through a stage where I thought streaking was cool. I can now look back at the photographic evidence of how much of a prat I can be).


I could continue with the various things that I think are good about Facebook but this is not the point of this blog.  I feel that some are becoming too dependent upon Facebook. It is as though Facebook has become part of their personality. Before I continue, I am aware that I use this blog as an outlet for my thoughts and opinions. However there is a big BUT. I express elements of my life that I feel can be discussed publicly and what is more I have already talked about with someone before I publish them on here. More importantly, these are not what I deem private. They are not a way of expressing emotions or opinions that I feel I can not do vocally or socially. This is where I think the problem has arisen. 


I can guarantee when I log onto Facebook I will come across someone openly or subliminally expressing an emotion or issue that they have not discussed and what is more it should probably be kept private. I do not actually have a problem with people doing this. My issue is that whilst technology has made it easier for them to express themselves it has also in turn made it more and more difficult for people to express themselves in the real world. 

I find it amusing that there are films available which feature Robots trying to take over the world. But are all these people who choose to live through technology and struggle to tackle issues in the real worlds actually becoming robots? I have stumbled across so much crap on Facebook over the years that I have contemplated deleting my account. People openly telling the world incredibly private details about their or someone else's life. I feel I am quiet an open person but some things should be kept private and what's more not discussed online but in person. I have witnessed people expressing issues with friends or former friends both openly or making subtle digs. Why do this? It is because Facebook has disabled your ability to communicate as a human being in social situations! 

Another explanation is societies growing obsession with fame. People want everybody to know their intimate details because then people will talk about them! Whilst people were once famous for actually having talent or having done great things we now live in a society where the likes of Paris Hilton are more well known amongst the younger generations than the Prime Minister! (Sorry to use two blatant nobs for my examples but you get my point I hope). I think this is why I loved Scre4m so much, it made a relevant dig at the mentality of a large group of my generation! 

But why have I not deleted my account? Because Facebook has a grasp over me too! So the robots are taking over!!!

Word of the Day: Communication

Quote of the Day: 'Is it Facebook official?' Various

Random Thought of the Day: How do they make some grapes 'seedless'? Surely they would be infertile? (I'll google this!)

*I've added this note because whilst my last status was 'has just had a massive shit at work' I've had Facebook for a long time so I may have guilty of committing the above faux pas in the past!!

Family Toilet Habits

This blog is due to an incident this morning. Whilst I was having a shower before I went to work my mother shouted and informed me she needed the toilet immediately. I asked if she could wait two minutes but she expressed that this was a life or death poo situation. So with a head full of shampoo I proceeded to unlock the door and got back into the shower. My mother entered the bathroom and did her business whilst I was in the shower. I suppose I should inform you that our shower does now have a curtain. We both laughed at the situation but this is somewhat the norm in my house. 

About a year ago I revealed to a group of friends that I am happy to use the toilet whilst my mum is in the bath. Both me and my sister are happy to use the toilet in each others company also. Some of my friends felt it wasn't too weird but not many felt comfortable to do this themselves. One however was shocked and appalled. So shocked in fact that they created a Facebook group about this. My father does not conform to our family toilet bonding sessions, preferring to do his business in private. So within our household my father is perceived as 'weird'. Within the rest of society he is probably viewed as normal, and the rest of us are the strange ones. 


As my quest for normality continues I am noticing more aspects of my life and behaviour are prohibiting me from achieving the status of being a 'normal' person. Again I can point to genetics. My mum is weird too.

Freedom of Speech

I came across this article today. Police officers in Barnsley have the power to fine people if they swear in public places. Personally I try to ensure my language is respectable enough when I'm in places or situations where making comments such as f*** off may cause offence. Obviously not everyone adopts this moral conduct. I asked a man for I.D at the supermarket last week and his response was 'You're having a laugh right, you f****** c***?' This was not said aggressively, it was simple everyday language for the apparently 26 year old gentleman. 


I have two queries about the new procedure being conducted in Barnsley. Firstly what counts as a swear word? I think we can all agree that the F word and C word are naughty words that we should never use in front of mummy and daddy. However I've been brought up to believe that piss is another naughty word. A few of my friends have not. I am comfortable with say bitch in front of my parents, but it's still a naughty word for some. I could go and on about what words I've been raised to believe are naughty. The point is everyone has different views on the matter. Is society becoming desensitized to language that was once perceived as profanities? Probably.


 It seems the Barnsley council are trying to go back to the good old days where no one would dare say such naughty words in public. In society where freedom of speech is the norm it seems like Barnsely is a little out of touch. Personally I think that some words are naughty but they are losing the impact they once had as they have become part of everyday language. Barnsely's heart is obviously in the right place, but if you look at other things such as the 9 pm watershed it is clear things are changing. I'm pretty sure Bitch has been used on good old corrie in recent years before 9 pm and lets not get into how much sex on Tv has changed since the 60s.


My second issue is if we start to implement punishment to people who use naughty words, what next? Will the government start fining people for saying the primeminster is a smug prick? Oh shit I swore so I will be fined...if prick is classed as swearing? As nice as it would be for people to not swear, they do. Freedom of speech my arse. I'm telling you, Big Brother is watching!


Word of the Day: Semantics


Quote of the Day: 'I love you all, but you're all f****** mad' Ozzy Osbourne


Guilty Confession of the Day: I forewarned someone this blog would be dedicated to them. This is not the first time I've attempted to kill someone. The first time resulted in our entire science class being banned from experiments (for legal reasons I must refrain from releasing the details). Both times I have unintentionally committed attempted murder this person in question has been my accomplice. I put it to both you dear reader and the said person that this person is in fact mentally disturbed and I am simply easily led.  

Adverts

My life sometimes has it's peak moments of excitement when I sit down and watch the tele. What's more exciting than Sally finding out Kevin has been having another affair?!! The best moments I find are the adverts however. The following two videos are by far my favourite adverts to grace our screens within the past year. 

So what do you think? Are there any better ones out there? Probably but if you haven't picked up on the sarcasm at the start of this I don't actually watch that much TV! I prefer to live my life than watch others pretending to live theirs!

Funny Names

At my boring job I came across a name yesterday that tickled my funny bone. Broomhead. It's just a bit odd. Before I continue, my surname is Hussain. It's as common as a cow that produces milk. It got me thinking about names that I think are quiet funny. 

Emmanuel Kant

A great philosopher. It's just a shame that when you say his name out loud it sounds awfully similar to a NAUGHTY word. It did provide some humour to what could have otherwise been some of the most boring lectures I have ever sat though in my life!

Dick Van Dyke

I don't want to research whether it is a stage name or not. It'll ruin it for me. I like to imagine his parent's had a cruel sense of humour. What a brilliant juxtaposition of two names!

Michel Foucault

Renowned sociologist. His surname is pronounced FOOK-co. I'm trying to remind myself that I am 23.

George W. Bush

Perhaps scraping the barrel a bit. I just felt like reminding everyone how much of a nob he is. I think the look on his face here sums up his mentality towards leading America. 

So there you have it! I've completed my first month of blogging. I thought it would be a fad, but it's proven to be quiet an obsession. Sorry Scre4m and Cheryl, you've been replaced. I knew my mum would be a fan but my dad is surprisingly supportive (he'll be paranoid now). It does mean I'll have to be extra careful as to what I discuss. I've just made 'subtle' references to the F word and the C word so I might be getting a spanked bottom and it could spell the end to this blog. Perhaps not. Maybe if I tell them I'm in thousands of pounds worth of debt though I may find myself in the shit. They'll be getting mad now. Fear not parents! Like the majority of post graduates, I have left university with a degree that I may never use and a debt to the government I'll probably never repay in full! 

Word of the Day: Satirical

Quote of the Day: 'The opportunity for doing mischief is found a hundred times a day, and of doing good once in a year.' Voltaire

Guilty Confession of the Day: I suppose this depends on your perspective, but I'm a massive Elvis fan. I also like the Rat Pack, I guess I earn cool points for that?!

My other job

Whilst I constantly reference the wonderful supermarket I work for I also have another job as a support worker for young people with disabilities. Shocking I know, a student who has just left university who has two jobs already, and what's more I'm from Rochdale! 


My boss at this job read this blog, so here a little plug for him. Whilst I have the job at the supermarket out of necessity (I need to fund my friendship with alcohol somehow), my other job I have mainly because I enjoy it. How many of us are drawn to careers out of financial rewards instead of the pure enjoyment. Obviously we have to make ends meet, but I personally feel there is a line. If I had the choice between a job I would love or a different one that would be incredibly boring but offered a greater sum of money I would choose the one I'd enjoy. 'Money can't buy you happiness' (a phrase I actually appreciate). 


What I find somewhat ironic is I come home from the supermarket injury free and still full of energy, whereas I come home from my other job in the complete opposite condition but can't wait to return. I'm afraid the same doesn't apply to the supermarket. Obviously this is a good thing, but I think it also means I'm still no nearer to being normal. I should be in a boring job earning tons of $$$ but hating every minute of it right?


Life's too short, enjoy every minute of it!!

Meat

At various points in my life I have refrained from eating meat. When I was younger the reasoning behind this was I felt it was cruel. However I've always returned to my carnivorous ways. It's usually some shit like a big mac or bacon sandwich that draws me back.About a year ago I gave up meat for a different reason. I suddenly began getting repulsed by the thought of eating something dead. It was not because I felt it was cruel, but because I couldn't stomach the thought of eating something that had been alive. The smell of raw meat has always turned my stomach, even when I  can eat meat. Ever since I was little I've consciously held my breath if I ever walk passed a butchers. Eventually I lost the thoughts about meat being something dead and dirty. I stuck to being a vegetarian for a while longer out of pure stubbornness but eventually chowed down on a Big Mac and Double Cheese burger. 


The reason why I've written about this is because during work today the thoughts suddenly returned very strongly. It was when I handled some lamb's kidney that was fully concealed but i felt like I had 'touched' it. For the rest of the day just the sight of meat knocked me sick and I even intentionally avoided eating it for lunch. Luckily this didn't last as long as last year. The thoughts are gone! 


I've googled to find out if this happens to others but can't really find anything. It's as if I have a 'bi polar' relationship with meat. The smell certainly always knocks me for sick. But I have no qualms usually about handling it. I know many people who have issues with handling raw chicken. During a food tech lesson at school my friend made me skin the chicken we had to cook. I took this opportunity to place my hand under the chicken skin and proceeded to chase her around the classroom. I spent the rest of the lesson on the corridor. It probably doesn't come as a surprise that Food Tech was the one subject I failed at school!


I like my steak Raw and bloody when I enjoy meat. However I know this would make me feel physically sick when I can't get over the fact that it's 'dead'. So what is wrong with me? Am I alone in this? Surely there are others who have this weird problem? My attempts to be normal are really not working out! Maybe it's some subconscious psychological blah blah that's going on. The more likely explanation is that I'm just weird and being a ponce. I had fish pie for tea, I'm over it for now!!


Word of the Day: Juxtapose 


Quote of the Day: 'I ate his liver with some Fava beans and a nice Chianti'. Hannibal Lecter

Grocery Items that amuse me

I work in a supermarket (I'm sure I mention this fact a lot). Today I began to think about items that our store sells that amuse me. 

Monster Munch

First on the list is Monster Munch Roast Beef flavour crisps. Why? Because it claims to contain 'hunks' of roast beef. I was thoroughly disappointed when I opened a packet on my lunch break today. They were not the hunks of beef I'd hoped for! 

Andrex

'Soft Strong and Long'. Clearly my mind has been in the gutter today! It still tickles my funny bone!

Loreal Full Restore

This is due to the advert. Plus I get to mention Cheryl Cole again. 'Dull, limp, lifeless.' Say no more.

Pork Faggots

I think I was in a shop in Brighton the first time I came across these bad boys. It's not big, it's not clever but it sure as hell makes me piss my pants every time I see them! 

Talking Animals

I stumbled across an article last week about the Nazis attempt to train dogs to talk. I'm not going to discuss the Nazis and get all political. I'm not going to go on about how they are all massive nobs. Nor am I going to babble on about how ridiculous the notion of teaching animals to talk seems to me. What I am going to babble on about is....what if it had worked?!!!

Imagine if your pets could talk back to you? It can't just be me who talks to my dog and cat?! How amazing would it be if your pet's could tell you what was on their mind and explain why they do strange things? I'd ask my cat why she insists on scratching everything. Is she stressed? Or is she intentionally doing it to piss my mum off? My cat does meow an awful lot so I'm guessing if she could turn those meows into words she'd be a chatter box. And why is she hungry ALL the time? Or is she just an attention seeking pain in the butt?
And my dog! I'd have so many questions! Why does he bark at other dogs through our window? Is he trying to say hello or is he telling them to stay away? I know he's all talk and no action. He'll happily bark at Mr Rotweiler through the safety of our living room but but him face to face with one on a field and his little legs turn to jelly!

I'd also have understood what the crow in town was squarking about. Obviously I didn't and gave it a funny look so it proceeded to attack my head (it does look like a bit of a bird nest in fairness). If I'd have known why he was so angry maybe I could have helped?

What about other animals? Are monkey's really cheeky? Maybe they're really boring and like to talk about politics? Are foxes really sly? Perhaps their personality is akin to Mother Teresa and we've got them all wrong? I don't think we've got wasps wrong. They're nobs. 

I realise that this blog is coming across half doctor Doolittle and half crazy. I've not lost the plot I swear, I'm just a little imaginative! 


Word of the Day: Personification


Quote of the Day: 'The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.' Mahatma Gandhi 


Guilty Confession of the Day: I chose an extra ten minutes in bed over having a shower before work this morning!

Annoying phrases

My job at the Supermarket isn't the most challenging of jobs. So my mind tends to wonder. A colleague said a passing comment which got my thinking and the result is this blog! Phrases that are annoying or just don't really make sense when you think about them!


'Smile, it might never happen'

This is what was said to me yesterday at work. It's such a silly comment! Firstly, you are mistaking the look on my face as miserable when it may in fact just be my normal relaxed expression! Also if I am worrying or upset about something that could happen. I may have been upset that I am unlikely to win the lottery....so how the hell am I supposed to smile if you tell me it may never happen?!!


'Patience is a virtue'

Obviously I am a slightly impatient person. My waiting blog should be a clear indicator that patience is something I lack. Who decided patience is a virtue? Why do I have to have it as one of mine? I'm sorry, patience is not one of my virtues!


'Get a grip'

I use this sometimes. However if you think about it, what does it actually mean? Get a grip of what? It doesn't make sense!


'Can do/If you want'

This one is directed at my indecisive friends, one in particular especially. 'Do you want to watch this film?' 'Do you want this for tea?' 'Do you want to do this?' 'Can do'.
Yes I know we can do, but I asked if you want to! It doesn't answer my question. 
'If you want'. Clearly I want to, that's why I've asked if you want to as well! 

This isn't just a dig at YOU, all the other people who say this...come on guys make a decision! It won't kill you (well unless I've asked you if you want to jump off a bridge with me, but if that's the case it means I've finally fully lost it....men in white coats!). 

The Accent Factor

Those of you who know me personally are probably aware I get unhealthy obsessions. The last was focused on Scre4m. However a long standing one that has slowly began to waver was with Cheryl Cole. I don't know why I was so obsessed. Although it made me seem less insane than when I was obsessed with Scre4m!

I had no intention of ever blogging about Cheryl. But the recent rumours about her being dropped from the USA X Factor have got me thinking. Many have suggested it was due to her Geordie accent. I think it's an outrage! For me personally the Geordie accent is one of the better accents our country has to offer. Maybe I'm biased. I had an obsession with Cheryl and I also lived in Middlesborough for a while.


 Have you ever spoken to someone from Rochdale? We sound stupid, common and a tad backwards (notice I said 'we', I have the same accent). Plus a lot of southerners struggle with our accent. Try ordering a coke in a bar anywhere below London. I bet you have to repeat yourself at least once! What about the Scouser accent (Liverpool)? Would it have faired better if they had used Cilla Black? What about a Brummie (Birmingham)? No I have it! Barnsley! I'm sure they have their own language!


I think it's a disgrace. I'm going to gather my Tin Foil Hat friends and we will unite against the X Factor and get Cheryl her job back! It also appears that my latest obsession is with 'Tin Foil Hat' people. Now I know I'm a long distance away from being normal! 


Word of the Day: Canny


Quote of the Day: 'When I look at the world I am pessimistic. When I look at people I am optimistic.' Carl Rogers


Random thought of the Day: Should I just give in to the random urge I always get to flick customers who shop at the supermarket on the nose and see how they react? (Probably not, I need that job).